No Intentions

The most common and the most monstrously inefficient mistake people make regarding setting intentions is to have none or have poorly formulated intentions or intentions that simply don’t help.  If you want you or your staff to wander around wondering what to do then don’t spend much time clarifying intentions in your own head let alone in theirs.

Can you imagine the waste of resources that happens because key people give vague and nebulous directions without communicating the why of their instructions?  When this happens, the people you lead will be left to guess the finer details, the important distinctions of what you want and why you want it.  Not only is this putting them in an insecure game of “guess what’s in my head” their anxieties will rise and they will start to second guess themselves as they take wild stabs at hitting the target that you haven’t really described.  Needless to say when this becomes endemic within the culture of the group it makes the person leading the project less than impressive and creates a culture of apprehension in the people you’re supposed to be leading or working with.

If you try to lead without clearly formed intentions, ie the need or want you’re trying to fulfill, your people will be left to interpret what you want.  This means they will likely alter your directions in keeping with their understanding as they do their best to guess what your intentions are. If on the other hand you are clear about your intentions and you communicate that effectively the risk of misinterpretation will be greatly reduced.  What’s more when you give clear well formulated intentions the people you lead will be able to apply their considerable intellect to the realization of what you want far more effectively. The end result of clearing up the intentions in your head is your chances of success goes up by a very large margin.

I would love to see someone do an audit of how much money is wasted because intentions are not clarified or articulated throughout the life of any particular project.  I’m betting the outcomes of such a study would be quite sobering if not downright scary.

To Be Right, Best, Better or Preferred

Another commonly problematic intention is the intention to be right, or not wrong.  If you set the intention to be right, best, better or preferred,  or the softer version to not be wrong, less than best, not better, not preferred, lets say in an argument with a colleague or friend you have by default set the equal and problematic intention of making them wrong or not right.

You don’t have to be a genius to guess why this is going drive a great deal of unnecessary conflict.   Let’s see, put your hand up if you want to be the bad guy/girl in a conflict.  No takers,  I wonder why?  Laying blame, imposing superiority and a whole lot of other negative effects is one of the main drivers of escalating conflict.  What’s more it typically stears events away from constructive outcomes and right into the destructive vicious cycle of conflict.  A less ugly intention would be to work together to figure out the best outcomes for all key stakeholders.

To Be Perfect Or Not To Be,   That is the question?

Sorry about my poor reference to Shakespeare, I couldn’t help myself.  Perfectionism (to be perfect) or it’s baby brother unrelenting standards (to constantly raise the bar) are often the source of anxiety, stress and even depression as people compare themselves to the unattainable, or “the never enough”.

Let these go.  You will become a much higher achiever with a lot less stress and anxiety when you learn to compare yourself to the best of human practices not ideals or impossibilities.  It’s ok to want to be all that you can be,  that is a great intention.  It’s an intention that will enable you to achieve elite performance and be happy about it when you get there.

Final Thoughts

The list of harmful or problematic intentions is as long as the list of effective intentions. What’s more it wouldn’t be useful to say that one type of intention is always harmful or unhelpful while another always is.  All we can say is that your intentions will inform you decisions, alter your perceptions and influence your behaviours one way or the other.  What you need to do is consider whether your intentions at any point of time in any given circumstances are optimal or not.  Are they supporting the most useful outcome in the given circumstances.

In the next blog we are going to look at how to set the best intentions in any given situation.  For now these are just a few things to think about.

Cheers

Jim